Sunday, June 5, 2016

Starting Over



A very good friend who I’ve known for about ten years recently sent me a beautiful bracelet that says “she believed she could, so she did.”  I wear it every day.  She sent it for a particular reason, though the sentiment encompasses me overall and isn’t limited to any one situation.  She knows me well.  I've always bristled whenever anyone would say I couldn’t do something and, when pushed, I’ve always proven them wrong. 

I’ve been in the same place for over twenty-five years now and while I’ve always told myself it’s not for forever, I didn’t always believe I could leave again.  Now it’s coming on time for me to prove myself wrong as well. The hometown is a great place for raising kids, but it was never “me.”  I’ve always been restless here, and over the past two years the yearning to reset and start over has gotten stronger.  I blogged about this once last year, as I was approaching my fiftieth birthday.  Since then, my son has moved out of the house and my daughter just graduated high school, though it will be a little while still before she moves out and is self-supporting.  Their lives are just beginning – they are forging their own paths. 

As for myself?  Who’s to say I can’t start a new life in my fifties?  Yeah, age is measured in years, but the best years aren’t necessarily behind me.  Or any of us, really. I don’t think our age is reflected by the amount of life we’ve lived, but rather by the amount of life we still feel inside.  And inside, I’m driven by the need to grab onto a lightning bolt and live my life in a way that makes me excited again.  It’s never too late, and I have the bracelet to prove it.  I believe I can, and I will. 

I’ve been playing it safe for too long.  Taking chances and putting change in motion is the only way to save myself from regret.  I don’t want to play back my life and have to ask myself “why didn’t I…?”

Take chances.  Do what makes you feel alive.  Even if you just grab a small lightning bolt, it’s still going to be a hell of a ride J

© Dahlia Ramone: June 5, 2016
 

 

This was written for Blogophilia Week 16.9 Topic:
Resetting or Starting Over?

Bonus Points:
(Hard, 2 pts) Include a Raymond Chandler Novel
(Playback, second to last paragraph)
(Easy, 1 pt) Incorporate someone being saved

 



43 comments:

  1. This resonates! I just watched a TED talk on embracing discomfort. I think you and I are on the edge of getting out of the sameness rut. I'm rooting for you, your adventurous heart and spirit... -Dave Raider

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    1. Yeah, I just don't think there's much adventure to be had in sameness (unless your 'sameness' is skydiving every weekend - loll! That's too much adventure for me :D ) But I definitely am ready for change and doing something different. Thanks, dollface :)

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  2. I'm in the same boat, although I may have more anchors. I've lived in my house for 28 years and for more than one reason, it's time to cash in and re-pot myself.

    I wish you the best of luck in your decision.

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    1. Thanks, Christopher. I don't own my home (in fact, I'll never own a home). But I do rent from my mom and when she retires in two more years, she wants to move into this condo. When that happens, I'll have to move - I just don't know yet how big I want to make the relocation.

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  3. sometimes one must move on and seek new adventures, and 50 is certainly not too old to do just that

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    1. I agree, Linda. If the will and desire is there, you're never too old :)

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  4. Transition on your own terms is always a good thing. It took me three moves to settle where I want to be.

    Ain't no shackles gonna hold you down.

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    1. lol! Nope, I got no strings (or shackles). I'll make my own decisions because - well, you know ;)

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  5. I love this!! You are lighting a fire!! One I think we all feel the need to take a spark from!
    YOU CAN DO IT!!! I know you, and I am excited for whatever new adventure life takes you on...just be sure I can still join you on the side adventures that are sure to be involved!! Love ya Sistah Friend xo

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    1. Oh, of course where will still be PLENTY of side adventures for us - I can't imagine a future without them. I still think we should move to the UK together :)

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  6. I did this exact thing 2 years ago. The midwest never felt like home to me. The cold is brutal, the towns (amd minds) can be bery small and the wages stagnet. I love the ocean, palm trees and warm weather so 2 years ago, at the age of 53, I sold my townhouse and most of my furniture and moved to FL. No job, no home, just a desire to live somewhere affordable and warm. I landed in Jacksonville and it has worked itself out. Have faith and follow your heart.

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    1. Being near the ocean will definitely play a part in where I land. The scariest part is securing a new job somewhere, and I'd like to be someplace with a lot of art, culture and diversity. Florida had never really been on my radar before, but I think it's definitely worth checking out :)

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  7. We often talk about just picking up and moving to the mountains. We are at a spot (like you) where we could do it. But we have also become very comfortable here, and hesitate to leave the good friends we've made over the years.

    Love that song - its perfect

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    1. That song came across my player as I was trying to think about what to write. It's safe to say my direction was motivated by the song (and I really love that Jake Bugg's voice).

      I don't own a home so in that sense, it's easy to just pick up and go. The downside is I don't have a lot of savings, so I'll need to have a job lined up wherever I intend to move - that will be the challenging part.

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  8. One more thing - I'm rooting for you. Hope you go for it.

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    1. I know you are. Thanks :) And who knows? Maybe DeAnna and I will relocate in the same neighborhood somewhere ;)

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  9. That's great - go for it. You are an inspiration

    Samantha

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    1. Thank you, Samantha. I've been thinking about it an awful lot, it'll happen :)

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  10. It's never too late to start fresh.

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  11. Go for it. I went back to college and got 2 more degrees at age 53. I also remarried twice after the big 50. Sadly I also lost both of them. But at least I reached out and went for the gold ring..And 6 years ago got a new house near my children and very happy. I am past the 3/4 century mark and looking to make it a full century. And I will be exploring and finishing my bucket list. Life is what you make it. Give it over to God and live!
    Stormy

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    1. I totally agree, Stormy, life IS what we make of it. I need to seriously write out my Bucket List so I can start checking things off - lol! You're an inspiration :)

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  12. Yeah,yeah, blah blah blah blah! :) If you need the push then I am the pusher! Will it take the challenge of someone to put you on the trail? You go girl! Give it all you got and success will be yours!

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    1. Like the Prada Gauntlet Challenge? lol! You can be my cheerleader pushing me to shake off all the fears and take the jump, it'll be awesome :)

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  13. I always it's NEVER too late to start over, and you know, sometimes life just puts you in situations where you HAVE to start over. Look at me!!! Ahaha! 8 points, Earthling!! - ME (Martien Ecrits)

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    1. No one should have to start over like you did, Marvin - what FB did was just f'ed up :/

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  14. I think there are times for staying put and times to make a move. If you're getting restless, if home feels nice and comfy but not truly like home, if it's not a time to stay put anymore, then... why not? :) In big steps or small ones, now or later. The world is at your Jimmy Chooed feet... ;) Ruggs.

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    1. Heh ;) Maybe Jimmy Choo is hiring somewhere - I'm sure he has stores all over the world. Imagine the company discounts :) But you're right, when one starts to get restless, perhaps it's time to answer the call.

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  15. You can do it, Dollface! Where would you want to move to? I know you have written about it before, but have you narrowed it down to ONE location? :)

    Irene

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    1. I haven't narrowed it down at all Irene, that's part of the problem - lol! I used to always think I'd end up back in L.A., but then in the past year I've been thinking maybe the Bay Area would be nice. Then again, there's always Scotland. *sighs* That will always be the dream ;)

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  16. I'm excited...my traveling gypsy partner...we always seem to have very similar timelines in our lives. I refuse to let my dreams die or let my heart get old. I think in ways...it has just begun. Love you girl. DeAnna

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    1. You and I are often so in sync it's just eerie. I think there's a good chance we could end up neighbors ;)

      Love you, soul sister :)

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  17. Age is just a number...you're never old to make changes and take chances! After 24 years of living 1,000 miles away from my family I did the opposite of what most do at my age (then 51). I moved out of tropical Florida to northern Virginia! And I left my adult kids behind in Florida...admittedly, that part is still difficult for me, but they have their own lives they are living as well. But you know what, I think it really helped them grow into the wonderful, hardworking adults they are now! Plus I have two free vacation spots, haha! :)

    The bottom line is, there comes a time when you have to listen to your heart and figure out what makes YOU happy. You're going to do just fine!!!! Thinking good thoughts and praying for you, Dollface. Love you, sistah girlfriend!! xoxo

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    1. lol'ing about the free vacation spots! I hear what you're saying about it being hard to move away from your kids - they're like our best friends, but they're also busying living their OWN lives. I also know my daughter won't stay in this town anyway - she's too much like me.

      We're responsible for our own happiness and we should chase that, even when it takes us away from our nest - lol!

      Love you tons!! <3

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  18. I encourage you to always follow your heart wherever it may lead you for it will never intentionally lead you astray. That being said; I also
    forbid you to ever forget us! 8 points Earthling! :)

    Your favorite Martien!

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    1. If this above comment publishes please ignore it; as it seems that I had already commented on this blog! I can't say if I am coming or going... insane!

      Martien

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    2. Careful, Marvin, not too many people (or Martians) get away with forbidding me to do anything ;)

      Having said that, you would stay with me wherever I move to ;)

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  19. Every day's a new day for sure and a new chance to start over. I love this.

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    1. Yes, definitely. And we should never waste an opportunity. Thanks for stopping by, Barbara :)

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  20. You, of all people, can do it! I do hope your (and my) travels allow us to meet! Sooner than later! I can still remember that first night in the Pub and telling myself, "I need to meet her someday".

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    1. lol! I will do it, and we definitely will meet. You're such a cool friend, I know we'd have an absolute blast hanging out together :D

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